Take Two
by RClaybourne
Summary: What if the Season 1 finale ended differently? What if Deacon didn't storm out of Rayna's dressing room after receiving confirmation that Maddie was his child? This picks up the night of the Season 1 CMAs. This was meant to be a one shot but I got a little carried away. The next chapters are drafted so I will post them soon.
1. Chapter 1

**Take Two**

 _What if the Season 1 finale ended differently? What if Deacon didn't storm out of Rayna's dressing room after receiving confirmation that Maddie was his child? This picks up the night of the Season 1 CMAs._

 _This was meant to be a one shot but I got a little carried away. The next chapters are drafted so I will post them soon._

Rayna is in her dressing room, hair and makeup people making sure she's ready to present on stage. She's been focusing on doing her job, rather than on how angry Deacon seems. She doesn't know what is going on between them, but she can't think about that now.

Deacon walks towards her dressing room. His natural instinct is to run away when life gets tough, to hide out, but he's changed, he's not the same man he used to be. After more than a dozen years in Alcoholics Anonymous he's learned that your problems will always find you. It's better to face them head on.

He knows he was in bad shape "back then," but he's not now. He's waited nearly 14 years to be with this woman again, his soul mate, and he's not ready to throw it all away, at least not just yet. He knows he wasn't always there for her in the past, he knows he didn't always love her the way she deserved to be loved. There has got to be a good explanation for Maddie's conclusion and he at least owes Rayna the chance to explain herself. He can man up for once. He owes her that. No matter what happens, he reminds himself, what matters is Rayna and him…together.

" _Hey_."

" _Hey_ ," she responds, more wary than surprised.

" _Ugh I need to talk can I have a minute_?" Deacon asks this very matter of factly as he takes a seat in Rayna's dressing room.

" _Maddie came to see me_."

" _What_?" Rayna asks, both confused and afraid. She's sensing something is not right.

" _She wants to know if I'm her father. She found this, ah, report, and it said that Teddy wasn't, so, you know, so she wants to know if I am_." His anger is rising, a wealth of emotions rushing through him. He wanted to prove to her she'd been wrong about him, that if this was something she had hidden from him...that he could have handled it back then, and he sure as hell can handle it now. But, always one to wear his heart on his sleeve, his emotions are getting the best of him.

" _I need you to tell me that it's not true, that you haven't been lyin' to me every moment of the last 13 years_." He doesn't just _want_ her to tell him this, he physically _needs_ her to tell him. He needs to know that the woman he's loved for his entire adult life has not doubted him so much as to hide his own child from him in plain sight. He needs to know she hadn't willingly chosen another man over him, all the while carrying his child inside of her. He needs to know he hadn't been chasing some crazy dream of them like a damn fool for the past 14 years. He feels nauseous.

Deacon appears eerily calm at first, but his eyes are wide. Rayna can almost feel his adrenaline pumping. She speaks as calmly as she can, as though he might attack at any moment. She pretends to take control of the situation, something that comes naturally to her after years of practice, but underneath it all she feels broken, as broken as if he'd physically laid his hands on her himself. Deacon has seen that look before. It's the look his own mother wore far to often during his childhood. He sees the same fear in Rayna's eyes that he remembered on his mother's face.

Rayna casts her eyes down, which is all the answer Deacon needs. He lets the deep breath that he'd been holding in for the past 3 hours.

" _How is it possible? Huh? You wanna start by telling me that_?" He doesn't like the rage that is building inside. He's losing faith in himself, in their relationship, and in this moment he wants her to feel all of the pain he is feeling, the pain of being stabbed right in the heart.

" _Try to remember how you were_ -"

He cuts her off. " _I remember Rayna. I got sober_." He worked so damn hard to get sober. So damn hard. And for what?

This was not how he planned for this to play out but the pain in this moment is almost more than he can bare. He got sober. He got sober and he still wasn't good enough.

" _I know you did get sober but it took you 5 times in rehab_." Rayna's old frustrations, her old feelings of helplessness are returning. She tries again to explain. " _You broke every stick of furniture in my apartment_."

" _You're not answering my question. What does that have to do with you not telling me she's mine?"_ He can't trust himself enough to even call her his daughter at this point, his child. He'd wanted a family with Rayna once, he even thought he'd be a good dad, but she didn't...she never thought he was good enough. Maybe she was right about that. What did he know about being anyone's father?

Rayna tries to get the words out before he can walk out on her. She knows that's what's coming. She can feel that old anxiety building. It hurts just as badly as the first time he walked out, as it did when her own father kicked her out of the house, as it did when her mother died.

" _I am answering your question. I found out I was pregnant. I ended up talking about it with Teddy and we decided that we would get married. We would do a paternity test after we were married. And then Coleman said that I should cut you lose because I wanted you to get better and he thought that would be the way to do that. So then Teddy and I made a decision to do what's best for Maddie so_ -"

" _So she's mine_?"

Rayna nods. She never lost faith in him. She lost faith in herself. Why can't he understand that?

Deacon has heard enough. He crosses the room just as the stage manganese opens the door.

" _Ms. Jaymes you're on in 40 seconds_."

" _Deacon..."_

He's fighting an internal battle and he is determined to win this time. He's done bowing down to the demons that have followed him for so many years. He's not that same man. He's done running.

He sighs and crosses the room to sit down, wiping one hand across his face.

"I will be right here when you get off that stage," he says firmly, if only somewhat more calmly.

Rayna pauses to assess the situation. She nods, almost imperceptibly, before taking a deep breath, straightening up, and heading for the stage to announce the next award.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Deacons mind flashes back to his home a few short hours ago, before his world shifted on its axis yet again. He opened the door to see Rayna's eldest daughter standing on his porch, still in her school clothes, a cab idling at the curb. The scene in front of him didn't make sense and he struggled to process it.

What could be going on? Did something happen with Rayna? Is Maddie pissed they're going to the CMAs together? Rayna mentioned she'd talked to the girls about them being together. She'd told him they were still getting used to the idea but they didn't seem to be against them dating each other. He'd never been a teenage girl himself but his sister's teenage mood swings are still fresh in his head. In fact, all of the time he'd spent hiding out from Beverly lent him plenty of time to practice guitar.

" _Hey what're you doing here? You ok_?" He checks again to confirm if she is indeed alone.

" _I think_ ," Maddie pauses

" _What is it_?"

The words catch in her throat but she reminds herself that she came here for the truth and she is determined to get it. She blurts out the rest before she can change her mind, before her impulsive teenage brain can fully process the consequences. " _I think that you might be my father_."

She looks pained. " _What_?"

The scene before him feels surreal. Deacon remains frozen, his years with Rayna flashing through his head like a movie screen, numbers, timelines...she's 13...he was in rehab…

"I...um...let me go take care of your cab and we'll talk about this. Ok?"

She's still standing on the porch when Deacon walks back up the path. He's surprised she hasn't gone on inside. He escorts her in to the living room and grabs them each a bottle of water, his throat suddenly feeling very dry.

"Sweetheart, I'm pretty confused here. Why do you think I might be your dad?"

Maddie hands him a piece of paper, a lab report. It did, in fact, state that Theodore Conrad was not her father.

"This says my dad is not my dad. I found it in a box in my mom's closet."

"Did she give this to you?" Deacon asks, trying to get more facts from her.

She shakes her head. "No. I was snooping. They've both been acting so strange, and I heard my dad got a restraining order so you couldn't see us. That didn't make any sense, and it didn't make sense that he was so upset when you came to dinner. So...now it does. And neither of them can play guitar," she adds. "Neither can Daphne. I know that doesn't seem like such a big deal but..."

He sees the pleading in her eyes. She looks so lost, as lost as he feels. He moves over to sit next to her and takes her hand in both of his.

"I don't honestly have an answer for you, but I promise you I will find out. I promise you that. Do you trust me?" He doesn't know what else to tell her.

She nods.

"So I'm gonna take you home, and when I get to the arena I'm gonna talk to your mom. Do you think you'll be okay for a few hours?"

They're both quiet on the drive to take Maddie home but before she heads into the house he reminds her of his promise, and she gives him a small smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Deacon was barely able make eye contact with Rayna when he arrived at the arena that evening. He didn't know what to believe about the situation with Maddie. Had Rayna actually lied to him for 13 years? Brad Paisley's joke about being late to the show did nothing to lighten his mood and the fact that Rayna was looking even more gorgeous than ever only made him angrier. Acting like life is perfect when it's anything but is a skill that came way too easily to that woman. He thought he knew her, but he wonders if the whole of their relationship had been a lie. Maybe his sister had been right in that parking lot over 20 years ago. Maybe this whole time, Rayna had just been using him to further her own career.

He doesn't look up when he hears the door to the dressing room open and close. Rayna leans against the door, knowing she'll do little to block his exit if he is determined to leave.

"Tandy drove me to your house to tell you I was pregnant," she begins. "I wanted to tell you right from the beginning. I wanted you to know. You had every right to know. But when we got there you were in the kitchen smashin' up all of the dishes. Tandy was scared and worried and I was weak and afraid. I just wanted you to wrap me up in your arms and tell me everything would be okay." Tears start to fall again and she does nothing to wipe them away, the pain of that moment returning to her full force.

"I asked Tandy what I was gonna do. I knew the baby was yours. I knew Maddie was yours. There was really no other way. I'd only been with Teddy a few times and we had always been so safe. Teddy always used condoms." She can see Deacon tense up at the mention of her early relationship with Teddy, the muscles in his neck tightening. "You were the only one I'd ever been with until then."

Rayna pulls a chair up to sit in front of Deacon. "You were the only one I'd ever wanted."

Their eyes meet briefly before he looks away.

"The night you proposed," she continues, "I let myself get swept up in the moment. You asked me to marry you and I wanted…" She stifles a sob. "I forgot I had stopped taking my birth control pills. And it didn't matter anyway. You were sober, and we were going to be married and for a few hours everything was perfect. Do you remember that night at all?" she asks. "You asked me to marry you, and I wanted to so badly. I'd wanted to marry you since I was 16 years old," she shouts at him, her pain turning to anger. "The next morning you were passed out drunk and you didn't remember even asking me, or making love to me. You were just passed out drunk on the couch."

"You think I sold my soul, you think I sold us out and everything we'd always dreamed of just to marry Teddy. Well you're right! I did! I did sell my soul! And Teddy, Teddy was happy to pick up all of the pieces because I _dazzled_ him," she says with disdain. "Not for any other reason than I dazzled him. But he picked up all the pieces when I was scared and alone and so heartbroken I could barely get out of bed in the morning and in return I promised him we would raise Maddie together, that we would be a family. And you know what he had going for him? He was there, which is more than I could say for any other man in my life at that point!"She sobs into her hands while Deacon looks on, tears filling his own eyes.

Rayna's voice is softer when she finally begins speaking again. "I didn't know what to do, Deacon, and with every year it got harder. _I wanted to be your wife! I wanted to raise her up together in a warm, loving home that you could not provide. I cried myself to sleep for a year I wanted it so bad._ You broke my heart and I didn't ever want our daughter to ever experience the pain of you leavin', or of blamin' herself for not bein' enough to keep you sober!"

Deacon had listened to her words, hearing her out, doing his best to understand her decisions. "But I got sober, Rayna. Why couldn't you tell me when she was a year old? Or 3 or 5? Why couldn't you have given me just a few more years to be her daddy? "

He no longer looks angry at this point, just anguished, their expressions mirroring each other.

Rayna takes a chance and moves over to the sofa to sit next to him, closer to him. "When would it have been the perfect time to blow up her life, Deacon?"

Rayna wraps her arms around herself and looks away. "By then, by the time she was a toddler, we were back on the road together. You were doing so well. I wanted to tell you but I was so afraid. I was afraid you would hate me. I was afraid you would start drinking again. At the time she was born you were drinking so much I didn't think you'd have even made it to her first birthday. But this way, I thought you could still be a part of her world, and see her grow up.

And you did for a few years. I know you didn't know she was yours, but...you gave her her first guitar, and taught her her first chords...you used to cuddle up and watch cartoons with her on the bus...you saw her first wobbly steps across the stage at the Ryman... You may not have ever sung her to sleep but you certainly used to get her riled up and clapping along!" They share a brief smile at the memory. "It killed me not to tell you."

He takes in a deep breath. "The man you've been for this past 13 years...is even better than the one I fell in love with and I'm amazed that that is even possible. I already thought you hung the moon. I was scared to death that I might be the one to destroy that, to destroy you. I fell in love with you within 10 minutes of layin' eyes on you and I have never stopped loving you. Not for one single moment." She starts to sob again. "I still want a life with you, a family, I want all the things I wanted back then. I still want that life that's good. I don't want to lose you again! Please don't hate me, Deacon! Please."

Finally he takes her in his arms, unable to hide his own emotions any longer. They break down, together, grieving the loss of the time they wasted, the family they could have been.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So what now?"

"I need you to come to the house. I need you to be my partner in this. We're gonna have to get her through it."

Rayna and Deacon are silent on the drive to her house, each looking out their own windows and sitting apart from one another, but still holding onto each other's hands, maintaining a connection.

"You ready for this?" she asks as they enter the house. He nods, still quiet, fighting every instinct to run.

Rayna excuses the sitter and together they climb the stairs to Maddie's room. Maddie continues staring out the window and doesn't look up when Rayna says her name.

"You doin' okay?" Deacon asks gently. She's surprised to find him standing there, her mom's friend, the man she thought of as her uncle who is now suddenly her dad. He's standing in her bedroom doorway, behind her mom, looking so strong and handsome in his sport coat. It was the only way she could imagine him, cool and put together. How could her mom have lied to this man, to both of them? How could he not know she was his daughter all of these years?

"You came back."

"I came back."

They share a brief smile, No one says anything for a while and they are startled back to reality when the door slams downstairs and Teddy enters the room soon after.

"You came, too." Teddy says upon seeing Deacon, stating the obvious.

Teddy is angry, smug. It's Deacon who takes the high road this time, keeping his cool, a fact that is not lost on either man.

It's finally Maddie who breaks the silence.

"So Deacon's my dad?"

"Biologically, yes, but I'm your father."

Rayna can feel the tension rising in the room. "The decisions that we made at that time were because we loved you."

"You knew she was pregnant and you married her anyway," Maddie shouts, not hiding her repulsion.

"Now wait just a minute-" Deacon attempts to interject in Rayna's defense but Teddy is already continuing, grasping at straws, "It didn't matter-"

"It didn't matter who my father was?"

"It was such a complicated time," Rayna says trying to calm the rising flames. Words are tossed back and forth rapid fire.

Teddy breaks down yelling at Rayna that he knew something like this would happen if she and Deacon became involved again. All Maddie sees is more deceit, rather than a father who is desperately afraid of losing his daughter.

"You lied! You lied to me and you lied to Deacon! This is all your mistake, my even being born!"

Hearing Maddie confess that she thinks she was a mistake is more than Deacon can handle and he can feel a lump rising in his throat, those emotions being all too familiar to him in the hands of his father, an abusive alcoholic. In his own mind he'd been a mistake, he never should have been born, and if his own thoughts weren't convincing enough his father was always quick to remind him. "I wish we'd never been stuck with these dam kids," his dad had fumed more than once in a drunken rage. He may have tripped over a toy, or found a dirty glass on the counter. It didn't take much to set him off, and Deacon often wished he hadn't been born rather than feel his father's wrath. He swore to himself at a young age that he'd never let another child feel that way if he could help it.

"No, sweetheart," Deacon says, attempting unsuccessfully to suppress his emotions. "Don't you ever, ever think that! You are loved. We all love you so much, and we are going to get through this, all of us, together." In that moment he realizes old resentments no longer matter. It's not about him and Rayna anymore, or Teddy.

It's Deacon who opens his arms to Maddie as she sobs into his chest, his own heart breaking over the pain his past actions had caused her. She folds into his arms. He'd do anything to protect a child, HIS child.

The End


End file.
